Priyamvada’s husband Prabhu is unfaithful to her. Somehow he could neverkeep his marriagevows and be constant to his wife. He had a string of relationships with various women. He would explain awaymatters to Priyamvadathroughflimsyexcuses.Oneday Priamvada’sfriend Jalaja sees Prabhu with his lady colleague late at night in a restaurant. She alerts Priyamvada and tells her to rein in Prabhu. Priyamvada gets angry and stoutly defends Prabhu.
What do you make of Priyamvada’s conduct?
1. She is trying to play the role of loyal and trusting wife.
2. Like some women, Priyamvada has a tendency to act like a doormat in relation to her husband.
3. She genuinely believes that Prabhu’s affairs are Platonic relationships.
4. She is psychologically in a state of denial.
The first answer choice may be partly true. But Priyamvada is refusing to look at facts. Loyalty and trust are two way relationships. Displaying loyalty or trust in the absence of reciprocity is dysfunctional behaviour.
The second choice points to a tendency which some women have due to various experiences theyundergo.Theylosetheirsense of self-respect. Theyreadilyaccept andput up with unacceptable behaviour from others. This is a weakness. But in this case, we need to specifically consider Priyamvada’s response to her husband’s infidelity.
The third answer choice could be a possibility. But she really has no reason to regard the affairs as innocent friendships. Prabhu has been having the affairs, and she readily accepted his airy-fairy explanations without showing any critical attitude.
The fourth answer choice is the most appropriate one. Priyamvada’s response seems to indicate theworking of the ego-defence mechanismcalleddenial. As we sawearlier,ego-defence mechanisms are psychological devices which people use to avoid psychological harm. In other words, they do not want to go down in their own eyes. Typically, these mechanisms come into play in situations in which individuals feel a sense of humiliation, shame, indignity and loss of self-respect. This is the situation that Priyamvada faces. But instead of facing the reality of Prabhu’s infidelity and squarely dealing with it, she has gone into denial. She refuses to look at the reality of Prabhu’s betrayal and takes shelter in illusions.